What Do You Want?
In life, we get wrapped up in a lot of ‘’shoulds’’ and we are particularly vulnerable when it comes to weddings. We have been led to believe that there is a certain way they need to be done, certain things that you ‘’must’’ have or do. We say it is tradition. We act as if these guidelines are some sort of law. Everyone and their uncle is probably telling you all the things you ‘’should’’ be doing. But, if you want to keep your sanity, you need to clarify your personal vision for your wedding. What do you and your fiancé want to do? Where do you want the wedding? When do you want it? Do you envision a big affair or a more intimate gathering of close friends and family? You need to stick to your guns and not give in to pressure. If you want a small affair, you have to stand firm when your mother insists on inviting the members of her book club that you never met, or your second cousins who you have not seen since you were in elementary school.
Crunch Numbers Early On
The cost of weddings is the primary reason people find them so stressful. My sister recently spent almost 40,000 on a wedding in NJ and she informed me that this was considered ‘’budget.’’ It is way too easy for the spending to get out of control if you do not have a clear idea right from the get-go about what type of money you can spend and/or are comfortable spending on a one-day event. So, before you even book a date, know what type of funds you are working with. If your parents have offered to contribute financially, make sure you are aware of any conditions associated with that money, such as having more input in the planning process. Some may feel that since it is their money, they have the final say over how it is spent, while other families will let you do as you please with it. You and your fiancé need to talk about how much money you are willing to spend and commit to sticking to this number—this will prevent you from getting swayed by elements that will put you over your budget.
It is your day so naturally you want to have a great deal of control over the process, and final say on every last detail. But, this does not mean that you need to do every last thing on your own. Your fiancé, family and wedding party are there to help. Think about what tasks you would feel comfortable delegating to other people so that you can take a bit off your plate.
Will This Matter?
If you are feeling stressed about any aspect of the wedding, a good question to ask yourself is ‘’will this really matter?’’ when trying to make decisions. This can help keep things in perspective, prevent you from spending money on things you really do not want to spend money on, like personalized napkins or candies, and allow you to focus your efforts and funds on the things that are truly important to you, like that great photographer or awesome DJ.
About the Author:This post was written by Kristopher Gerner, Ocean Isle photographer who knows just how to capture the moments of your special day.